Don’t Get Mad Or Even, But Win the Bitter Game with RevengeCrabs.com
If you’ve ever loved and lost, you know true pain. But if you’ve ever been burned in a more visceral way, maybe you don’t need to get over it, but get some Revenge Crabs and get even a bit.
We don’t endorse the purchase of farm-raised pubic lice sold specifically to get even with your ex, but we can see why you might want to, and can’t help but think it’s a pretty brilliant idea. I don’t know where this was when I was in college, and I don’t care, because I think I’m going back this weekend.
Worst case scenario I come up with a reason to throw down my cash to get even in ways that can’t even land me in jail. Nasty, yes, but really, it’s just nice.
Herbal Remedy Uniquely Formulated Specifically to Make Women Not Dumb… If That’s Possible
I don’t personally buy in to all the hype about herbal remedies. Vitamins are well and good, but as soon as some snake oil salesman starts telling me I can grow a bigger man-dong or more hair, or that my lady can magically sprout bigger girly nubs at the age of 30, my scam-dar starts beeping at full volume.
I can’t imagine this is real, but it sure reads like every other miracle product I’ve seen. This company promises an all-natural herbal supplement that can make a woman actually cease to be dumb… No more being lied to by mechanics or expecting flowers on random calendar dates; this formula can cure all that and give her a sense of humor, if you take enough of them. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably means there’s just no cure for girls being a tad behind the times.
Saint Chester, Patron Saint of Child Molesters
Of all the insulting sites out there, this one has to top the list. It reads like someone is probably pulling my chain, and I hope that’s the case, because if it isn’t, it looks like somebody is trying to pull somebody else’s something else.
Be sure to check out the “note to reader” and “subscription” sections on the front page, because these really speak volumes to the amateur nature of the otherwise informative project. If you want to skip straight to the facts, the “About” page is enough to make you sick, possibly from laughter.
Abortion Tracker – If ever you wanted to find out who has had the abortions, now there’s a site that tracks them all
This site can literally track every woman who has had an abortion performed dating back to at least the 60s or 70s. These guys “say” they don’t break any laws, but they also say that it doesn’t matter if they do. We actually managed to find a backend login from the web (doesn’t work now, apparently they caught the conflicting IPs), but what they say is really real, and it’s disturbing as hell.
I don’t know how it is that these guys are still online, or how it’s even remotely legal, but it’s been a few weeks since my login was cutoff, and these guys appear to be going as strong as ever, which is more than weird, it’s straight-up offensive. When I had access to the database, I was using it as a guide for dating, because these girls are obviously good to go, but I guess that’s just me.
Doggy Condoms – Site Claims Only Humane Spay Alternative is to Jimmy-Up Rover’s Puppy Junk
I’ve bought Buddy Christ action figures and still daily water my well aging pet rock, but of all the products allegedly for sale on the market, this one is the strangest by a barefoot mile, and that’s quite a distance.
This company not only says what the sell, but sells what they say. You can buy a condom for your dog so he can keep his big-dog bits in play when he slums with neighborly mutts of lesser pedigree. If you’re unwilling to let him even go that far, they have humpable legs for sale and they insist that soon you’ll even have the choice of flavored condoms for that extra special something; in beef, poultry and liver… uncool man, seriously uncool.
GovernmentFunded.com – Helps you see rampant government waste AND get in on the action!
You’ve seen all sorts of the government wasting your tax money in ways that are insulting, but I don’t think you’ve seen some of these. They funded a study to determine if brand new, never before used furniture burns differently in a volcano than priceless antique furniture. Don’t try to imagine what they paid, it’s posted publicly on the site.
And the worst thing isn’t that they show you all the boshat ways they’ve wasted your money, but they promise to help you become the next thief in line to take a dip from the public coffer. Apparently this service was created by an act of congress to increase competition.
PuppyBeef.com - Your Trusted Online Shipper of Quality Canine Meats
If you’re looking for exotic cuts of the most delectable meats this world has to offer, forget about such gamey game as rabbit, elk or panda cub. There’s another red meat that isn’t so strange or exotic, but still has the full flavor you expect from red meat, without all the hormones and steroids your doctor has already told you to avoid.
Consider that man’s best dish may be nothing worse than man’s best friend. If you’re looking for a unique treat for a special occasion, you don’t need to nibble on fillet o’ gator or testicles of ocelot, all you need to do is look as far as your own front yard and let your salivary glands lead you from there.
We’re certainly not advocating that you kill your household dog (or pig, or goat, or sheep), but we’re saying that protein is protein, and some of the least meaty creatures have some of the most covetable meats. Chicken is well and good, but a fine Cornish game hen is better, even though it’s often only a few ounces with the bones, gizzards and stupidly fraudulent amounts of ice they pack in there pretending it’s about food safety.
BanNASCARNow.com is trying to shut down NASCAR for good, and you can help
There are a lot of movements in the world, but the only one I care about is my own. At least, that was the case until now. One group has a real movement of their own, and they’re trying to make the biggest difference of all. They’re trying to make NASCAR illegal.
Ban NASCAR Now has a collection of unbelievable stats about pollution, waste and environmental destruction. Their hearts may be in the right place, even if it seems their heads are up their asses. You can read persuasive articles, sign the online petition, or just pop in to see these guys before the hillbillies get a hold of them.
Seriously, you mess with NASCAR, I don’t care how good your reasons are, you’re getting in to a pissing match with beer drinkers, and they have the bladder and the pressure to beat you for distance, if they don’t just rev up the pickup and run you down on your Earth Day parade.
StopDogFighting.net – If you really think it’s time to end illegal dog fighting, these guys will help you get it done
Some have said this is the most noble site we’ve ever listed on here, but we say it’s the only noble site. The site was sent to us by a reader disgusted by the fact we link to www.PuppyProfits.com, even though it may be considered an illegal operation (or at least cruel and insulting, which is why we liked it in the first place.)
Truth is they’re probably good people trying to do a good thing, but they have no traffic, no Google PageRank, no Alexa ranking, and almost nobody links to them. So as passionate and concerned as they are, they don’t see a fraction of the readership of the site they’re trying to take down. Tell me dog fighting is wrong if you like, but the free market has spoken, and these guys are going nowhere and slowly at that.
JaredRemembered.com Memorializes the Passing of Beloved Subway Guy Jared S. Fogel
If you’ve ever snacked down a tasty sub from Subway, you’ll never forget our fallen brother Jared Fogle. Fat guy turned skinny guy turned motivational speaker turned dead guy, Jared was more than just a spokesman, he was a guy who lost weight without ever really trying.
Considering Jared already lost more than half of his body weight, it should come as no surprise that he’s now lost the rest of it. Jared S. Fogle, sandwich salesman extraordinaire, is dead.
Read poems, stories and eulogies, or join in the fun by submitting your own. Just like 7-grams of fat or less, it’s what Jared would have wanted. He is survived by his parents, friends, and a 12” meatball sub.
Child Trader - Not that you don’t love little Jimmy, just that someone else might love him more…
Children aren’t just our past and present, they are our very future. If you doubt it, just take a look at those creepy mini-munchkins as they trod the house wearing your shoes. It doesn’t mean that you have to like them.
If you have kids, and they’re “good” kids, but you still don’t enjoy the full attachment to them you think you should have, it may be because you have the wrong kids. You shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed by your accidental or ungrateful offspring, they may be just the thing somebody else is looking for. Thanks to this new web site (which may be fake, we haven’t dug deep enough yet) you can trade off your slightly-used children to other parents in similar situations. If you have too many sons or daughters, or a child too brainy or athletic, you can pay a nominal fee to swap him or her out for one that better fits you.
Critics are already up in arms about it, but it’s not like you’re breaking up a family as much as it is that you’re creating a new, better, stronger family with a child you can actually love for real. None of that nonsense “pretending to love” business, but the real deal. Your child can join with a family that really appreciates him or her, and you can have a kid better suited to your needs.
Click here to visit ChildTrader.com
AIDSMapper.com - Searchable Database of every HIV Positive patient in the country
As a guy who reads a hundred sites a day and reports on one a week, I like to think I’ve seen it all. Maybe I manage to succeed in avoiding the Cleveland-Peanut Steamer brigade, but even my own sensibilities have limits, and this site is the one that pushed me over the top this week.
It’s not that it’s funny “ha ha” nor funny “hmmm”, but that it’s offensive, illegal if even remotely real, and the hugest invasion of constitutionally guaranteed personal privacy either way.
I mean really, where do people come up with these things? AidsMapper.com is either an unbelievably expensive and completely illegal reality, or a hoax so overdeveloped that I can only scratch my nuts, head or head n’ nuts in wonder as to why the people behind it would build it out.
If you want to fully share in my disbelief, sign up for a trial account (they say “limited time only, but that’s never true) and take a look at their results. I know from searching there were at least three names on their I recognized, and “the infected” listed didn’t exactly come as a surprise, so I’m terrified to think these guys really have the equation figured out.
Click here to visit AidsMapper.com
KidsConcentrationCamps.com - The Arizona Camp Where Parents Send their Summer Camping Kids with Attention Deficit Disorders
If you’ve ever had a child, you know there are those days when your precious little angel is simply more than you can handle. Well imagine a kiddy boot camp that feels your pain even better than you do. Imagine a place out in the desert where your rebellious youngster can get the cracking whip to make them march back in step, but not just because they’re defiant. Defiance and independence are easy character traits to steal from your child, but if your special little snowflake suffers at the horrific hands of the underappreciated maladies of such terrors as ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder), you can rest a bit easier than your pocket book in the comfortable knowledge that there is finally a place where your youngster can express unbridled rage without fear of judgment, thanks to this special camp designed exactly for them.
This place is pretty offensive in name, since they primarily handle kids with “concentration” problems, but only because it’s also a “camp” and they wanted to keep both “concentration” and “camp” in the title… so this retreat, which still has never had an unresolved federal complaint, is I guess technically a Concentration Camp. The camp furors are benevolent, and they will accept gold fillings for your youngster, so all hope is not lost, but it’s pretty close. If you’ve got a child with horrible behavior problems, remember that no luxury is too great and no punishment is quite sufficient, and make the call. Ship them off within 14-days of this article and we’ll get a 2% affiliate referrer bonus, so thanks for reading.
Click here to visit site: www.KidsConcentrationCamps.com
KittyBeef.com Offers Select Cuts of Premium Cat Delivered to Your Door
If you enjoy exotic game meat, there’s one that’s more tender and succulent than all the rest: kitten. Raised in humane ways, butchered using the latest standards, and shipped in dry-ice, there is no red meat that cuts easier with a butter knife.
Browse from a tasty selection of prime cuts, sausage, salami, jerky, stock or gravy, and rest assured your meal is going to be the most delicious feline you’ve ever tasted. Some have suggested this site is a joke, but the pictures on there are obviously real, and we don’t find much funny about it.
Duck is pretty unusual, but the numbers don’t lie, more people around the world prefer the rich flavor of Sylvester to Daffy, especially in today’s global market where supplies are virtually unlimited.
Teacher Harmony - The Number One Free Student Teacher Dating Site
[From the Site]
Welcome to the web’s most secure and trusted, 100% FREE adult dating personals portal for Teacher / Student online dating. You can count on TeacherHarmony.com to find that right someone just for you. Maybe you’re looking for a little help with your math homework or maybe you just need a mature friend that understands you, shares your interests and wants to help you explore your sexuality outside the classroom.
At Teacher Harmony we won’t judge you by your deeds, but we may ask you to show your work. Joking aside, we’re committed to helping you find exactly what you seek online and our good name and perfect reputation is your assurance of quality and total anonymity. Your mum won’t find out about us, neither will your wife or that wise ass judge.
Welcome to the web’s most secure and trusted, 100% FREE adult dating personals portal for Teacher / Student online dating. You can count on TeacherHarmony.com to find that right someone just for you. Maybe you’re looking for a little help with your math homework or maybe you just need a mature friend that understands you, shares your interests and wants to help you explore your sexuality outside the classroom.
At Teacher Harmony we won’t judge you by your deeds, but we may ask you to show your work. Joking aside, we’re committed to helping you find exactly what you seek online and our good name and perfect reputation is your assurance of quality and total anonymity. Your mum won’t find out about us, neither will your wife or that wise ass judge.
Conjugal Harmony, Finally a Wife With the Perfect Amount of Freedoms and Rights!
[from the site]
The Conjugal Harmony Difference
Imagine having a wife who is always glad to see you, never cheats or stays out all night, and who rocks your ever-loving world twice a month with a pent-up vengeance you haven’t felt since college. Now imagine she never takes your credit cards, doesn’t spend all day talking to her mother, and never knows if you’re out with friends or sleeping around. Now stop imagining and open your eyes to the world of Conjugal Harmony. For almost a decade we’ve connected honest, background cleared, non-prisoners with exciting, passionate, loyal mates on the inside, and with rates so low you might think you’re the crook!
Click here to visit www.ConjugalHarmony.com
Medical Adoptions, The Organs You Need. The Home They Deserve
[from the site]
We go above and beyond our competitors
We go above and beyond the services offered by any of our competitors, even those that call themselves “first class”. We have independent, verified, and qualified representatives in almost three-dozen countries, we use only the most modern, state-of-the-art laboratories in Switzerland, and our customer service agents for after-the-sale follow-up and complaint resolution are not just available 24-hours a day, but truly second-to-none.
Our representatives insure that the child you adopt is indeed a true orphan, and not a kidnapped, stolen or borrowed child. When you adopt an orphan through us, you can rest assured that what you’re getting is truly a parent-less child. Many of our agents are bonded, several are insured and some still are licensed in this particular trade. Many of our adoption agents donate a portion of their finder’s fees to local children’s charities.
Click here to visit Medical Adoptions
Puppy Profits, Dog Fighting For Fun and Profits
[from the site]
Is this legal?
We get that question a lot. Dog fighting, per se, is not legal, and should not be done under any circumstance. What we do is different in that we don’t call it “dog fighting”. Just like Japanese whaling vessels operate under a “research” license, we operate under various umbrellas of protection, such as religious expression, research, public service, awareness and assorted tribal rights, depending on your state.
How much money can I make?
Some events bring in as much as $10,000 to $20,000 in a single night, with upfront risk and expense as low as $5,000, so you’re almost assured to hit it very big with huge success right off the bat.
How quick can I make big, big money?
It all depends how soon you sign up for our patent pending program! We have many unique, exclusive tools, forms, tutorials and other startup guidelines in place to help make your transition from the poor-house to the dog-house (or your basement!) as smooth as Pam-sprayed satin. To be direct, we’ll just say you can hit it big in a month, for argument’s sake.
Is it true that I can use my own pet?
Yes, you technically can, though it’s not at always the best idea. While Fido or Rover may make for a fantastic prizefighter, it can be tricky to explain the eye gashes or cadaver status that invariably follows within a round, two or three. If it’s your child’s pet, it may be better to employ our trademarked system for raiding animal shelters to get your first round of contestants.
Where can I learn all about Canine Combat?
There is an official FAQ at SITE LEAGE PAGE where you can learn all about the sport for people wanting to start their own league, or for fans and coaches as well
Why should I use Puppy Profits instead of joining the division directly?
You can join the league directly, if you want to be a huge failure. Joining directly costs too much, and you’ll miss out on our series of members-only ebooks, videos and tutorials, not to mention our weekly conference calls, podcasts and one-to-one coaching you can’t find through the league.
Can I host cat fights instead?
Absolutely not! That is cruel, inhumane, and exactly the sort of thing that our officials go out of their way to prevent. If any franchisee is found to be hosting cat fights, they will immediately be penalized $200 and disallowed from hosting a sanctioned fight within seven-days.
Visit PuppyProfits.com by Clicking Here
FelonSpy.com, How Scary Are Your Neighbors?
[From the site]
Safety starts with good information. A reality of our times is that often that information can lead to you purchasing a new .44 caliber handgun to carry under your jacket. While FelonSpy.com can’t help you get a gun, we can certainly help you figure out which direction to point it in.
Our patented Felon Search technology mines data from across the nation, from the web and otherwise, and combines it into a single, easy to use interface. Whether you’re checking up on your own neighbors or trying to find out if that hotel you’ve been eyeing is in a safe place, we can help.
Click here to visit FelonSpy.com
Scientology Loans. Finally, You Dont Have To Be Tom Cruise To Be Able To Afford It!
[from the site]
Before applying, take a minute to say the official Scientology prayer:
Dear Benevolent Lord Zenuchrist:
We beseech you in this, our ARC break, from BO to clear, from dwindling spiral to no more enturbulence, from mere mest to beingness through the wisdom of your KRC triangle. For we are but mollusks, and you our noble clamherd, for Christ’s sake we pray.
Amen.
Finally there is help for all income levels and credit scores.
Finally, all the helpful, life changing benefits of Scientology are no longer prohibitively expensive for the average person. Well, its still expensive, but we now offer a variety of loan packages to fit any budget to get you the help you so desperately need.
As you are surely aware, Scientology is the proven fact and science of alien souls, killed by the evil galactic ruler Xenu 75,000,000 years ago, attaching themselves to us humans and causing all of our “bad” feelings. Scientology is the only known means to rid you of these destructive beings, enabling you to finally find the peace and happiness you deserve through the very expensive process of Scientology Auditing.
As you can see, not only do we have science to backup our claims, we have charts to backup our science. Above you can observe that, of all the investments you could have made dating back to 1960, not even dollars placed in high-return sectors like NASDAQ or Iraq (now defunct) would offer gains even close to Tom Cruise.
Visit Scientology Loans, Xenu and quite possibly L.R. Hubbard by clicking here
Rosies Vagina, A New Frangrance from Rosie O’Donnell
[From the site]
Rosie O’Donnell’s Vagina™ is inspired by the strong, determined aroma of ruggedly independent women in comfortable boots and flannel shirts everywhere. The hoo-hah unholy shaped bottle alone captures the essence of Rosie’s vagina, as well as literally capturing the essence of her vagina. Spray a little Rosie’s Vagina™ on your wrist and you are making the bold statement that Feminism is not only here to stay but refuses to be washed off with most modern chemical solvents.
Celebrate feminism everyday with Rosies Vagina
Click here to take a close look at Rosies Vagina
Stop Children From Abusing Catholic Priests, Victimsofchildren.com
[from the site]
Fabricating Crimes - The Nations New Millionaires
After hundreds of years of faithfully serving the communities in which we work, men of the cloth have come under fire in recent years for alleged improprieties. We swear vows of poverty and chastity in order to best serve the Lord our God free from the distractions so many of our congregation face each day. We operate orphanages, schools of all level and some of the most advanced hospitals around the world, and we don’t do these things in order to earn a profit or personally gain in any way – we do it because it is our calling.
The statute of limitations has long expired on these so called crimes, and while no proof or evidence can be shown, and no criminal charges can be brought, many of us see our careers ruined, our reputations shattered, and our life of thankless servitude destroyed.
And for what?
Many of these “victims” suffer from alcohol or drug dependency, or have endured failed marriages or deep emotional problems, so they turn, not to the Lord, but to blaming others for their own shortcomings. They turn to blaming priests for what likely did not happen decades ago, and they ask for millions of dollars for things for which there is no proof, and only to justify themselves.
In the past few years it has become very popular to blame the Catholic Church, but Catholic bashing is not the solution, it is the problem. We all have problems we must face, but when it comes to piling on the Catholic bashing bandwagon, the real victims are the dutiful men of the Lord who have selflessly given so much, only to be taken for that much more. For money we do not have, for the respect we’ve worked our lives to earn, for the trust that’s been imparted to us by countless parishioners, and for the very thing we love the most… service to our flock.
Some create these lies for financial gain, to persecute our Christian faith, to justify failures in their own lives, or to somehow rationalize their own latent homosexuality. Many of the accusers do not wish ill will, but have been convinced by the mental health community that these things truly happened, through a known process of systematic suggestion over time, even though no such things took place. This organization is not here to judge them, for only the good Lord can do that, and He will in His time, nor to cast blame or offer justifications, but to support the brothers and fathers who have been so wrongly accused.
Through our unity we shall overcome. We join together to see the accused vindicated, the defrocked put back on the pulpit, and the convicted commuted. As certain as our collective vows of chastity remain intact, so shall our reputations.
Let’s face the facts, with God as our witness, we are the victims.
Click here to visit Victims of Children
15 Year Old Virgin
Dear Friends and Strangers
Hi, name is Jason Morgan, I’m 15 and I live in Boston, Massachusetts, USA. I was diagnosed with leukemia when I was 11 years old, and since it’s spread to my lymph nodes and spine, there is no chance that I will be cured. Before I die, I want to know the touch of a woman. I don’t want to die a virgin and I can’t do it without your help.
I have arranged through my parish to take a trip to Hedonism, a Caribbean resort that offers the intimate company of attractive young women for a fair, all inclusive price. This may be my only option right now and it’s what I keep going for. It’s not expensive, but I have to have a medical support crew with me. I can’t fly on a regular airplane, I have to fly by Medevac, and that’s how come I need your help.
The easiest way for you to help me is to simply forward this website by email to everybody you know!
We already know that every time this website is sent by email is forwarded, we get an average of 8-cents towards my goal, so if you can’t give money you have to forward it to everybody you can because every single time it’s sent to somebody it counts.
If you forward it to five people the average goes up to 11 cents, and if you forward it to more than ten people it goes up to 14 cents per person who gets it. Please send this to at least ten people because that’s the only way I can make it to my goal.
If you send this to just ten people, and they send it to ten people that’s going to average out to like $140 towards my goal, so please help me before it’s too late.
Thank you very much for taking 2 minutes to help me!
God bless,
Jason Morgan
Midget Nation, The Reality Show That Proves Midgets Are Actually People
[from the site]
With a grand prize of $250,000 on the line, plus other cash and prizes for challenges, including a vacation, brand new car, and many other fabulous prizes, PLUS your chance at fame, you’d be crazy not to apply to be part of our great show today!
This remake of the famous Japanese television hit “Smallish Dragon: Banzai Warrior” is already creating all kinds of media buzz, and on the heels of the runaway success of CBS’ Kid Nation, it’s sure to only “get bigger” from here.
Co-produced by Jason Goldberg and Ryan Seacrest in cooperation with VH1 and Viacom International Limited, all rights reserved.
Watch our Video Casting Auditions, read about Season One (aired in Japan), and join the discussions in our forums when you’re ready, but don’t miss out on this never-before-seen reality television experience of a lifetime.
Click here to visit Midget Nation
Jihad? or Not? Which Celebrity Would You Slaughter?
[from the site]
Disclaimer
This website does not in any way endorse the kidnapping and beheading of “infidels”. Further, the creators of this site hold very dear to them, everyone’s Constitutional right to religious freedom and expression and respect everyone’s religious beliefs, whatever they may be. As such, we feel we are not in a position to judge, criticize or deter anyone when fulfilling their obligatory religious duties, which might include, from time to time, the occasional Fatwa, Jihad or slaughtering of infidels.
We would like to note that site is also not encouraging anyone (or group of people) of any particular race, creed or religion (*wink wink*) to go out and kidnap and behead people, nor are we critisizing the practice. However, if you are committed to that path, our hope is that at a minimum, we can assist you in making an educated choice in your slaughter. This means guiding you in choosing a target person, where instead of ending up with an aid worker, teacher or truck driver which may harm your cause in the international court of opinion, you are targeting one or more of our many annoying celebrities. Choose the right infidel and even hardened critics are likely to look at the gruesome Al Jazeera video and quietly admit to themselves “well…ok… yeah, I kinda get that one”
French Mercenaries, Surrender well and everyone wins!
[from the site]
Well, it’s finally happened.
You’ve silenced the media, plundered the treasury, killed all your political opponents, jailed all the dissidents, privatized most of the States best property into the names of your relatives and the gruesome work of your secret police is winding down as you find yourself with no one left to kidnap, torture and kill. As is usually the case for those brave, visionary and iconic rulers such as yourself, simply trying to bring peace, stability and democracy to the nation you love, forever pledging to free your people from tyranny, you are now being wrongly accused of genocide by the typical meddlers in the West.
It was a good run.
Now, after years of emphatic denial of the facts, driven by your own psychosis, narcissism and megalomania, you are finally confronted with the inevitable as rebel forces move closer to the capital, shouting anti government slogans, burning effigies of you and your family and killing anyone found to be associated with you and your regime. You are out of time. But thanks to your French associates, you are not out of friends. You know you are facing overwhelming opposition and a losing fight but with our help, you can avoid the fight completely with an effective surrender solution from French Mercenaries LTD.
Click here to visit French Mercenaries
Compacted Dignity, A Cremation Alternative
[from the site]
Finally, a Tasteful and Creative Alternative to Cremation
Welcome to Compacted Dignity, the markets best alternative for departed loved ones, who can not be cremated.
If your loved one was Catholic, or one of a great number of other strict religions that prohibit cremation, you are undoubtedly faced with a number of difficult decisions in the realm of good planning and putting to rest the remains of the departed.
An unfortunate reality of this difficult time is the substantial expense associated with ones passing which can include the cost of a casket, burial plot, funeral services, not to mention the upkeep. For most people, it would be ideal and the most considerate option for you, if you could cremate the individual, but as a people of faith, no matter how silly your religion might seem to others, you simply can’t incinerate your beloved.
Passing away is now a bit more practical and considerate to relatives
By the good grace of God, technology has finally caught up with market demand and today, you have a new, improved, attractive and cost effective option that is proving to be a popular and more practical option than either burial or cremation.
That option is Compacting.
It is now possible, with the help of our patented compaction, treatment and preservation process as well as our custom built 400 ton, two stage, four column hydraulic press to reduce the compress the physical remains of the deceased to a compact, solid shape of your choosing, which accompanied by a custom pedestal makes a wonderful mantle piece for daily remembrance.
Passing away is now more environmentally responsible and eco-friendly
An awful and gruesome secret of cemeteries and those who run them is the terrible impact that they have on the environment… namely the effect of decaying bodies and their impact on groundwater and how that matter and resulting chemicals find their way into your own faucets and household drinking water. With a compacted solution, there is no such problem. A compacted body already devoid of moisture and treated with preservatives and does not decay and decompose as a normal body would. Furthermore, no burial is required for the deceased and after being compressed into one of your lovely monuments for the mantle, your loved one can be taken home with you and placed anywhere you wish, leaving no traceable footprint on the environment
Passing away now makes better financial sense for everyone
Fortunately for us all, technology has finally caught up with market demand for a cheaper and more financially reasonable funeral and memorial solution. Of course, if we were all super wealthy and could just pull out our checkbooks to cover the obscene costs associated with ones untimely death, we would. But most of us can’t. Many of us just don’t want to. Today, we are proud to offer you an attractive and cost effective option that is much more practical in every way than burial or cremation or other similar rituals. The compacting and treatment process is low cost and much like any other item such a as a vase or souvenir thats simply bought and placed on a shelf, our process produces a monument that requires no future upkeep or maintenance cost or fees.
We so confident in the quality of our product that we also guarantee it with a 3 year warranty against cracking, fading and decay.
Daily Contempt, Daily Celebrity News and Gossip for People Who Hate Both
If you are anything like me, you hate the fact that we live in a culture of witless morons that can tell you what color panties Britney Spears was wearing each day of the week than they can about who is running for President of the nation.
We celebrate completely worthless human beings like Lindsay Lohan without even being sure why. We monitor the every move of a walking intellectual black hole like Paris Hilton and even though we realize directly afterward that we are dumber for it, we don’t stop ourselves. Why? What did she do that deserves our attention? She inherited some money, parties a lot and filmed herself blowing a guy? Really? That’s it?
The kids of this nation are growing up with more and more role models who offer nothing but painfully stupid quotes, nipple slips, beaver shots, crappy movies and unbelievably shitty music.
Where are the Al Pacino’s and the Jack Nicholson’s of this generation? Why is Dancing with the Stars (aka “D list celebs try to earn a paycheck”) one of the top rated shows on TV? How is it that you can fail in your career and get on a top rated tv show… then get your own show? Didn’t we used to have standards?
It’s time to stop fabricating celebrities. It’s time to start tearing them down. I can’t look my grandchildren in the eye and say sorry… bankrupt social security, global warming and Lindsay lohan is all we really did to leave to your generation.
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Britny.com – The bonkers blog of a Britney Spears obsessed teen prostitute
Some celebrities embrace their status as role models, while others pretend it isn’t the case. Britney Spears (and the whole Spears clan for that matter) have made millions by setting the world’s worst possible examples for our youth. One such youngster has taken Britney’s example and run with it a little too far.
I’m not sure what her name is, but if I’m reading it right, this blog site is written by a young teenage runaway living in Los Angeles. I can’t tell if she’s a “professional girl”, or if she just has no values of any kind, but either way she’s a give-it-up girl who will ruin your life… and she loves Britney Spears.
In between the insane ramblings and stories of vengeance against her ex (who it says is married and at least ten years older than her), readers are treated to song lyrics and stories about Britney Spears. Truly a wackjob not to be missed.
